My belief is “a problem is never as permanent as the solution!"

Referred by the Family Court?

Have you been directed by a Family Court Judge to attend communication coaching/counselling?

If the answer this yes, the information on this page may be helpful.

Family Court counselling here in Aotearoa New Zealand has come a long way since the Family Proceedings Act 1980 was implemented.

1980 was a really important year, as it was the year Aotearoa New Zealand got its own independent Family Court, with its own dedicated Family Court judges appointed.

From very early on, an important part of the role of the Family Court was to offer counselling in many shapes and sizes; this used to include couple counselling, relationship counselling, marriage counselling or even sex therapy - all of which took place outside of the Family Court, although ultimately funded by the Family Court/Ministry of Justice. In the early 80s and for decades afterwards, the biggest suppliers of these services were the various Marriage Guidance agencies across the mutu, and then subsequently the entity called Relationship Services, then Relationship Services Whakawhaunangta, and ultimately Relationships Aotearoa, before they closed down operations in 2016.

Previously, when couples with children decided to separate, they would usually access other kinds of counselling, or what we would know today as something called Family Mediation, to try and improve communication and to support them making arrangements for Day-to-Day care or Contact (what used to be called Custody) and for making guardianship decisions.

If all of that didn't work, then typically someone would have sought some independent legal advice, which would have meant going to see a Family Lawyer, or going to the citizens advice bureau (CAB), or a community law service. If the advice from there was to go into the Family Court, then an application would have been filed.

Fast forward to the Family Dispute Resolution Act 2013 being passed - when from 1st April 2014, separating and separated parents and guardians had to at least attempt a new service called Family Dispute Resolution, also known as FDR or Family Law mediation, to try and assist them to resolve issues with the help of an independent third party Family Dispute Resolution practitioner (FDRP), appointed by the Ministry of Justice.

Of course, sometimes issues are either too complex or too urgent to be dealt with in FDR, and the Family Court is asked to look at matters. Quite often, to support parties as they're progressing through the in court processes, a Family Court judge may direct parties to participate in ‘Family Court communication coaching/counselling’ to help the parties improve the communication, and therefore assist the Family Court and the Judge in agreeing on final arrangements.

What to expect if you have been directed to attend Family Court communication coaching/counselling with Timothy McMichael?

Firstly, you can be sure it's not going to be like traditional therapeutic counselling, where you're sitting in an armchair talking about your feelings. Of course, it's important to make sure feelings are appropriately communicated, but Family Court Communication Coaching/Counselling has really come of age, and is nowadays akin to a model which is practised in many countries called Parenting Coordination. Secondly, it’s a dynamic, respectful, mutual process where parties work with a skilled expert third-party practitioner to develop new ways of going about the business of separated coparenting

If you attend this process with Timothy, at different times, it may feel as if Timothy is wearing a family law hat, or a social work hat, or a psychology hat, or a ‘Judge Judy’ hat, and if parties have been directed/ordered to use OurFamilyWizard then Timothy may well be wearing a ‘Noel Leeming’ technical support hat.

What’s the first step?

Whatever hat Timothy maybe wearing, the process begins when you receive a text message sent to the mobile number Timothy will have been provided by the Family Court. The text message will be inviting you to reach out to reply to Timothy to schedule an initial one on one no more than 60 minute meeting, just Timothy and you. This may be undertaken on the phone, via Zoom or FaceTime, or sometimes in Mount Eden or in Palmerston North at Timothy's office.

What's most important is getting this first meeting booked in as quickly as possible, to keep the momentum going once the referral has been sent by the Family Court.

In these brief initial meetings, a parent will have an opportunity to start to build a relationship with Timothy, and vice versa, and Timothy will ask you just a few general questions to help him understand how he can best support you in this process. Everything that's talked about in this initial meetings is private, isn't shared with the other party, unless there are any care and protection issues which become apparent, which is very very rare.

If there are any care or protection issues disclosed, then of course Timothy is legally required to act on the information received, and if this is the case, he will explain to you what he will likely do with the information, and in almost all circumstances the case file be closed.

What happens after the first individual meeting?

So in the first meeting, Timothy will discuss with you how he imagines the case may progress. There may be some specific direction from a Family Court Judge around undertaking some initial one on one work, and where this has been directed or ordered, some appointments will be made to complete this one on one work before for a first joint meeting with the other party is scheduled.

What will it be like attending a meeting with my separated co-parent/former partner?

First of all, it’s understandable and natural that you may feel anxious, upset, nervous, resentful, or a whole range of other emotions about having to attend one or more meetings with your separated coparent. You'll be encouraged to explain to Timothy any concerns you have, so if necessary, separate arrival and departure times may be put in place, all that kinda stuff - to ensure you won't be left alone with your separated co-parent, or find yourself arriving on the doorstep at the same time as your separated coparent.

When you have meetings with Timothy and your separated coparent, it's what is important for you to know, is that at any point you may ask to take a break, or go into the waiting room, or into another meeting room. Timothy will always work really hard to make sure he is aware if things are getting too difficult, but it's also okay to ask for a break!

The really good news however is this process of parenting coordination really works. Most parents are surprised that even during a first or second joint meeting, they are able to laugh and share some funny anecdotes about the children.

Depending on the nature of the referral, Timothy may well be asked to support you with all your communication - by accessing your OurFamilyWizard account via his professional practitoner account, and Timothy will talk to you about this in more detail as the work progresses.

Is it all private and confidential?

That's a good question, and the answer is a bit of yes and and a bit of no.

Obviously Timothy won't be discussing any matters that are disclosed to him, other than in his normal supervision consultative support relationships, which are also covered by a range of confidential protocols. Unless Timothy has been asked to work alongside the Lawyer for Child, then again what is discussed remains within the family structure, unless there are any care and protection issues disclosed, when again confidentiality does not apply, and Timothy will make any reporting as necessary, and as required by law, always working hard to let parents know, in advance, wherever possible, of any actions he is taking.

Where confidentiality typically doesn't apply, is where parents are using OurFamilyWizard. One of the many reasons the Family Court like using OurFamilyWizard, is because they are able to access all the data within the family structure if there are future disputes; and quite often the Lawyer for Child will also have access to a family structure alongside Timothy, in his role as the practitioner.

Therefore anything and everything posted, stored and communicated within OurFamilyWizard is not covered by confidentiality, or legal privilege, and may automatically admitted into the Family Court as evidence if required in the future.

It's really important if you have any questions or queries about this that you talk this through either with Timothy, or if you are receiving independent legal advice, with your lawyer.

How long does it all last?

This really depends on the detail in the referral from the Family Court, and taking account of the particular directions and recommendations from the Family Court Judge, and whether or not Timothy has the capacity to go back to the Family Court to ask for additional funding.

All the work may be completed within a three month cycle, but there are many cases when Timothy is working with families for up to a year, to support them where there has been a significant level of complexity in the lead up to the referral being sent by the Family Court.

Important information about funding

Firstly, the very good news. All Family Court ordered Communication Coaching/Counselling/Parenting Coordination is paid from Crown funds - you don’t need to pay for anything.

Please note the following with regard to ‘billable time’.

At the same time as hearing from Timothy, you may receive a letter from your local Family Court advising of his appointment. That letter may or may not make reference to the number of ‘sessions’ or ‘hours’ available.

Billable time is any time Timothy spends on any matter working with the parties to the dispute from the point of appointment. Billable time starts at the very first contact between the parties and Timothy as the provider. Any time engaging with parties in his capacity as the provider is recorded and billed, regardless of whether this time is “scheduled” or “unscheduled”. This time is all part of the overall hours available.

Timothy keeps a record of the time spent with the parties. This includes unplanned/planned conversations over the phone, text messages and /or communications by email. All this time is billed and taken and reduces the overall hours available in the case. Timothy uses standard legal billing principles of .1 of an hour (or 6 minutes) for each and every engagement and/or reply to any communication with parties.